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January 5 - An Interview with DIRT
A few weeks ago I got an email from an up and coming English rock band called DIRT. I checked out their stuff, and was suitably impressed. I gave them a plug on the front page of the site, and they were cool enough to write and thank me for it. Seems they've had some good luck in recent weeks... So, I decided to have a talk with 'em, and asked the staff of FJ.com what they REALLY want to know... I sent off the questions, and Carson, DIRT's guitarist, was cool enough to send them back. With answers, even! Here's the first of a (hopefully) long running new feature, "Famous Last Words", currently featuring DIRT.

1) Who gets all of the fat chicks in DIRT?
CARSON: Danny the Bass player and he loves em. But he won't admit their fat chicks, he calls em rubenesque.

2) When bands get past their prime in America, they play state fairs. Where do you think DIRT will be in 5 years?
CARSON: I don't know about state fairs but in 5 years time Danny will probably be in state prison, I'll be drying out in rehab, Stevo will be on a beach in Barbados after conning us out of all the band money and Marv will be writing poetry on the walls of his padded cell.

3) There's a button in front of you. If you push it, DIRT's cd will be huge, and you will be offered a headlining slot on a major tour. You will sell out arenas, and DIRT will go down in history as one of the greatest bands ever. BUT, while on tour, your plane will crash, killing two members of the band. You won't know when or where the crash will occur, or which band members will suffer that fate. You might live your dreams and become a legend, but you might also die before realizing them all. Do you push it?
CARSON: Yeah I would definitely push it, not tell the rest of the band about it and promise to catch up with them on a later flight.

Obviously I've got to catch a later flight because I will need to put an add in the news paper for Bass player or Drummer or possibly vocalist wanted. LOL

I'll then take a boat for the rest of the tour just incase the Gods of Rock n Roll think im a horrible bastard and deserves to get smoked anyway.

4) Who would you say are your biggest influences?
CARSON: The Cult, Sabbath and Alice in Chains

5) When you played with LA Guns, did Phil Lewis ever try to convince anyone that he was younger than 48? Did anyone believe him? And if they didn't, isn't that kind of gross?
CARSON: What you mean he's not 25 years old???? Phil didn't really speak to any of us. He spent most of the time on the tour bus doing gas and air. However Steve Riley kept coming over and grabbing hold of my arm saying "Hi I'm Steve I play drums with the LA Guns", Yeah Steve you already told me! I think he's getting forgetful in his old age.

6) What was the largest crowd you've ever played in front of?
CARSON: 24,000 people at Wolverhampton football ground during half time of the match.

7) Seriously, what's up with The Darkness?
CARSON: No comment. Except if I had a Dick that small I wouldn't wear spandex, luckily I wear spandex all the time LOL!!!

8) If we were to walk into your house/car and turn the stereo on right now, what cd would come on?
CARSON: Metallica S&M

9) You just signed a UK Distribution deal. How can we get a hold of your cd on the other side of the pond?
CARSON: Were looking to release the album at the end of March and were pushing to get a distribution chain through the states. I'll keep you updated on the details.

10) Any tour plans outside of the UK?
CARSON: Yeah were going to be starting with a small tour of Holland (Just so we can spend a few days in Amsterdam!!) and then were gonna beg the record company for some money to come over to the US late summer.

11) Have you all been able to quit your day jobs yet?
CARSON: Well Danny's unemployable anyway but the rest of us are still on the grindstone at the moment. If all goes to plan in the next few months were gonna hit the road and try make it pay.

12) What do you think DIRT's biggest accomplishment has been thus far? And what's the next goal?
CARSON: Playing to 24,000 people and my old man was in the crowd which brought a lump of pride to my throat. The next goal is just to get out there and play as much as we can where ever we can.

13) Why do English people have such fucked-up teeth?
CARSON: English women have very sweet pussy!!! If ya eat too much it's bound to rot your teeth. In my case I just got them knocked out while working the door in night clubs.

14) How is the rock music scene over there? Are there any other good local bands you recommend checking out?
CARSON: The rock scene in the UK is a bit lame and that's why were looking to get out into central Europe and the US.

I can recommend some friends of ours called 'LIVID' they sound a bit like the Darkness and have supported them live. Dunno what they look like in spandex though LOL (See question 7) check them out at www.lividtheband.com

15) If you could steal any song on the planet, put it on a DIRT cd and release it without the original writer finding out, what song would you record?
CARSON: Ozzy - Rock n Roll Rebel - From the Bark at the Moon album

16) Which DIRT song seems to get the best live reaction, and why do you think that is?
CARSON: Jesus on the Run always seems to get heads bobbing. It's just got a powerful groove and an anthem chorus.

17) Give us an example of how DIRT has paid their dues.
CARSON: We drove for six hours to play a gig in Brixton, London and when we got there the place was an empty shit hole. The venue had not advertised us. So we played it anyway to about 15 people and then drove back the same night. Half way home the van breaks down so were stuck on the road for hours. Luckily I had bought myself a bottle of whisky on the way out of London.

18) You've been compared to early Def Leppard, and a young and drugless Ozzy Osbourne. Are you fans of either, or is it a case of living in the same environment?
CARSON: Well who the hell doesn't like Ozzy?? But yeah we are from the same environment as both artists as we live close to Birmingham the home of Black Sabbath and Sheffield the stomping ground of Def Leppard.

I think too many bands worry about sounding like other artists, always trying to come up with a new sound but I love the 80's rock so f**k it lets do some more of it.

19) You got a plug on the front page of my site, and within days you signed a lucrative distribution deal, and now have an opportunity for excellent management. Coincidence?
CARSON: Coincidence!!! I don't think so. We knew we'd hit the big time when we got on famousjames.com and the rest as they say is history.

20) Any last words you'd like to say to bunch of American metalheads?
CARSON: Yeah we would love to hear your thoughts on the music, any suggestions criticism or just to say hi. Get on the www.dirtrock.net guest book forum and we would love to meet you guys when manage to get over to the US. Take care ya all.

Pretty freakin' cool if you ask me... Thanks to DIRT for answering our stupid questions, and for publicly agreeing to talk to us. Make sure you visit their website and keep an ear out for these guys. And remember ladies, if you're having trouble keeping your New Year's Resolution to hit the gym more often, you've still got a shot with Danny.